This site is not exactly part of the Spiritgeek.com site or the collected blogs.

In the January 2010 Zeitgeist Newsletter I discussed using a Journal or Diary to keep as a tool of becoming more self-aware and as I am not one to suggest something that I am not willing to do myself so I set up this Journal.

Not only does it have the current entries, beginning on December 30, 2009, but I have a collection of notebooks that have assorted entries from the past that I have always wanted to archive someplace, so here it will be.

I have written on the blog about how I show EVERYTHING, sometime maybe too much, but this whole collection is about chronicling a life and its growth.

Not everything will be directly related to spiritual growth but it is a record of one particular journey, mine. Take it as a collection of examples and experiences, learning from them as I have; who knows, you might learn more from them then I did.


Warning

I'll be the first to admit that some of what gets written in here is somewhat adult in nature, not that I plan on putting porn out, but some of it may not be appropriate for children.


2011/04/02

Washington and elsewhere...

Sometimes I wonder what the point is.

Not that I expect any dramatic shift of the Universe or anything, but I look around and I see so many people that not only do not seem to care about what's going on around them, they do not want to know apparently.

Sadly, I am quite aware that when the s@%t hits the proverbial fan that they are going to be the ones that complain the loudest and are likely to have some reactionary response that will likely be just as bad as what happened and often worse then what originally happened. Look at the "Tea Baggers" and how this collection of supposedly predominantly middle-class Americans has been convinced that the goals and plans of the mega-rich and trans-national corporations are their own.

I understand the idea of cutting government spending, and I actually support it in many cases, but the solution is not in decimating the lower-classes and what remains of the middle-class but in the current case is a lot about developing income for the government to use.

I saw a chart the other day that laid out the planned cuts demanded by the Tea Baggers and the more extreme aspects of the Republican party and the item that made my jaw hit the floor was that all the cuts would save about $44.6 Billion and if the Bush tax cuts for the top 4% had not been extended, 99% of those cuts would not be necessary from a purely financial view.

We see people supporting the decimation of public schools, attempts at privatization of many, if not all, public services. What makes ANYONE think that a private company is going to run things more efficiently? I have yet to have a single person show me an example of private companies doing the services for the same cost or less.

In several states we see the attempts at destroying the ability of public employees to use collective bargaining to attempt getting decent wages. Name me ONE public school teacher that ever got rich teaching, if you know one, ask how they did it, it wasn't the classroom.

I hear the term "redistribution of wealth" bandied around as a justification for turning this country into the equivalent of the surfs of the past where the egalitarian elite control everything and the rest are basically slaves to their wishes with no power to create change. The truth is that the "redistribution of wealth" is not from the top down, or as Ronald Reagan called it, "Trickle Down Economics" but from the bottom up. The top 400 families in this country control HALF the wealth of the nation and they have no interest in sharing it.

We have corporations in this country that actually, in many cases, have more rights and privileges than the actual humans, with few if any of the responsibilities and obligations.

I wonder just how far things will go and what it will turn into. I do not want to be as pessimistic as George Orwell's "1984", Ray Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451" or Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" but I sometimes wonder if they were paranoid or prophets. The part that surprises me the most is that the majority in America are not only unconcerned, but present themselves as if they want it. I hope they still want that reality if and when it shows up. Somehow I doubt it.

2010/06/11

Today's Show!

I'm currently online, listening to Reputation Label's "Frantic Friday" show and we started around 200,000 listeners in the first half-hour and at 90 minutes we are at 367,000 listeners!

If you have never been to the show, Fridays 13:00-15:00 (Pacific) 21:00-23:00 (London) you really are missing a lot of fun.Between our main hosts Johnny and Kris Searle, along with Ringmaster Pete, Karen, Mizzy and Monkey, we have a really fun time.

I really enjoy doing the show, the people on it are such fun as well as our audience. It is THE place to spend a couple of hours to start the weekend with.



The Los Angeles/West Hollywood Gay Pride festivities start today and run through the weekend. I am not sure what I'm going to do about it, I will likely go to the parade on Sunday but I doubt I will go to the festival, never been particularly comfortable reliving lives as a sardine which is how the crowd makes me feel...

We will see on Sunday, just in case.



The newsletter went out yesterday and I really think it is the best one I have written to date. If you would like to subscribe to the newsletter, click the button bellow:

2010/05/21

The radio show is today, I'm not sure if I'm going to guesting or not today, but it's always fun anyway. If you want to listen in, go to Reputation Radio and mouse over the "chat Room" and click on "Live Radio & Podcast Shows" to activate the player (another way is to click here, but I'm not guaranteeing how long this back-door will work). Join us in the chat room to make it completely fun!

Had a bit of a headache the last couple of days, I would love to say it is a hangover, but I have not drunk or smoked anything to give me such an issue. Feels more like a stress headache anyway, I think I'm still de-stressing from all the changes lately.

It's a beautiful day in SoCal today and I am looking forward to going to the gym later...

Need to get back to writing "10 Secrets to the Secret" and getting ready for Session 3 this coming Monday at "The Spot" at 4455 Overland Ave, Culver City, CA.

L8r

2010/05/19

A rambling on age...

What an interesting time to be alive and reasonably young and healthy. OK, it's my birthday and I am fixating a touch on it and my age.

A friend this morning said that we actually have several ages to which I come out as follows:


Chronologically
Biologically
Mentally
Psychologically
45
30ish
25ish
16

I remember 20 years ago, does not seem that long ago, that my friends were tormenting me about being a "quarter-century old" and I thought they were nuts and now I am starting to push the next quarter. I never did understand the fixation with age.

Considering how much grief I have put this body through over the years, I aam impressed with how well it is handling the wear and tear. I never thought I would make it to 18 and to have made 45 was inconceivable until a few years ago.

I am beginning to understand the comment that youth is wasted on the young though. I think that is as much the fault of the progenitors as it is the young. What stresses were the young put under and is it really that big of a surprise that they would spend a lot of it in sometimes questionable ways? We taught them to fear and to be ashamed of what they are and we wonder why they rebel? Just how blind are we to the reactions to our actions?

Age is about a measurement of time in this particular classroom called life and doesn't really mean much unless you want it to. I think I will just ignore it for a bit longer, say 400 years and see how I feel then.

2010/04/05

This has been a VERY strange week of sorts.

I am down to 10 days till the end of the job and I still feel jazzed about it most of the time. I have the occasional moment of doubt, but who wouldn't? It passes and those moments are few and far between.

Last Thursday was stranger than usual, I was at work and my manager said that she and the GM needed to have a talk with me later in the afternoon, say around 4 to 4:30. No problem... Then SHE shows up, the dreaded HR lady that has a reputation of not coming down from on high, aka corporate, unless a head is about to roll.

I thought I was going to be getting out of the job 2 weeks early, but it was for someone else, I was spared. Gotta suck big time to be fired on April Fools.

They still have not replaced me, I hope the do so soon. I will feel awful if I leave them shorthanded, but I gave them 60 days notice, what more could they want?

Busy day tomorrow, breakfast meeting for more details on Club Inspire U and I'm going to scream my bloody head off if the site isn't up soon. I know the designer has been having difficulties with his servers, but we are less than 2 weeks from out premier and I still see the "Coming Soon" page I put up. ARGH!

I have a phone session at 10:30 and then I have to go to West Hollywood for another meeting with a friend about marketing ideas. I feel so official, I'm going to be marketed... Gads!

While I'm there, WeHo, I'm going to stop by and see if M is at work and if so, muster up the courage to ask him out on a date. I'm more afraid of that then being self-employed in this economy, now just what does that tell you?

Night!

2010/03/29

Things are getting more and more interesting.

Work is good and I'm actually enjoying it, likely because I know it is not for much longer. I really need to figure a way of bottling that and mass marketing it, I would make a fortune from pleased employers, I am not so sure about the staff...

Down to 17 more days and then it all begins... I'm nervous but thrilled as well.

People and resources are starting to come out of the woodwork, it is both fascinating and a touch creepy, but I guess that is how I like to manifest. I also have a networking group that I think that I will be checking out Friday before work. Not sure how I am going to make that work, network then gym then work -- busy morning.

Club Inspire U is coming along as well, K tells me there is some more news and he seems thrilled about it, not likely to get much out of him tomorrow as his brother is leaving Wednesday for home and the whole crowd will be at breakfast. I know the graphic designer is having computer problems, but I wish the new site would get up. (whine whine)

I want to get some writing done this week as well as everything else. I have not had time to sit and write. OK that is not exactly true, I have had time but not made use of it, I have fixed the bike and a few other minor projects as well as trying to get some relaxation.

Speaking of relaxation, I have the feeling that I may not get much for a while after the 15th. Things outside of work have been getting faster and faster, usually a sign that rest is not in the forecast.

Actually, that is one of the things I am most concerned about. I will HAVE to keep an eye on time management and not over-extending myself. On top of that I have to keep myself focused enough to get the job done without the boundaries of a set work schedule. That is always the hardest thing for me when I make this transition. To much and I burn myself out VERY quickly and too little and nothing gets accomplished.

I called GH today, left a message but the outgoing sounded like he may be using that number for his business line, well, either way I will likely hear from him tomorrow or the next day.

I got a call yesterday from my Landmark Forum in Action leader, he is so awesome, he is calling to help me with my need to "engage and enroll" and my difficulties in this area. I think it is cool that he is willing to work with me on this outside of the usual class times. He has his one-man show coming up on Sunday, April 4th, I would like to go but I don't think I can get out early or a ride up to the Theater, but I will see...

Well, I am getting ready to finish work and go to the gym for a good workout and a good night's sleep.

2010/03/23

Good day today!

Went to my Tuesday breakfast, got a haircut, worshiped the Sun God and he blessed me with some color then went to the gym for a good workout.

Then I ended up in NoHo to pick up posters and canvass to distribute fliers around my old neighborhood.

Also finally determined why nobody seems to have gotten the newsletter, so I both fixed it and decided it is officially the Marpril issue and will put the next issue out in May.

Now I'm going to bed so I can get up and do my usual Wednesday volunteer thing and a second dose in the evening to help out on the "special night".

2010/03/22

I have been SO bad with keeping up on my journal, sorry about that, but I have been insanely busy. Not an excuse, but true...

I am down to less than a month before I leave my job and officially go into business full-time as Spiritgeek.com. The closer that D-day gets, the happier I am that I have made the right decision.

Kris and I are also working on the premier night of Club Inspire U on April 17th at the Cobra Club in North Hollywood. I'm beginning to learn an awful lot about promotions from a friend who has been VERY helpful with tips and suggestions.

I haven't made it to the gym as often as I should and that's not good. I have been going in so many directions. I'm going to find some time and go tomorrow one way or another.

Had a call from a company that wants me to carry their product line, not sure yet, but they did give me a sample of one of the products and I have been quite pleased so far. They are called Sidda Tech and I am trying their "Detox"... I'm only a couple of uses into it but I have been impressed so far. If you go to the site, put in the coupon code "SG0310" for $5.00 off your purchase.

Going to bed now, it's been a LONG day and I am tired. I have another long couple of days coming up as well, guess it's true what they say, "There is no rest for the wicked."

2010/03/04

Great day today...

Had a wonderful meditation this morning and work was pretty good, it's still work but it wasn't terrible. The only thing I wish had happened differently is one of the drivers spilled the beans on my leaving, nice guy but as subtle as nuclear blast...

I realized that work can no longer bother me any more than I choose to let it. It is work, something I do that pays me (weakly) for my time. In about 42 days it will cease to be "my" problem completely. Why make it more than that?

Went to class tonight and had a wonderful insight into the difference between helping someone and creating a possibility in their lives. It took a while, but I realized that it was the same as "Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day, teach him to fish and you feed him (and then some) for a lifetime."

I was definitely tired last night, I was in bed no later than 19:15 and slept till 08:00 this morning. Now THAT is tired...

2010/03/03

Great day today!!!

I had a friend in a situation that spent the night and he gave me a ride to my volunteer session that I will be doing every week through the end of April. It was so cool to be of use to someone and know that people tonight are going to have what they need already prepared.

I went to the gym and had a VERY long and great workout. I think I may have over done it, all I want to do is sleep, so I think I will. Screw if it is only 18:30. I might get up early and get some work done... Right! ;-)

Not sure what happened to the rain we were supposed to get today, but I had an umbrella just in case... Good night!

2010/02/26

Long and busy day at work... The NAACP Image Awards have been driving all of us crazy.

Went to the gym before work and getting ready to go out and celebrate something of which I have not yet been told about, should I be frightened?

Tired, but ready to keep it going... Hope I don't get to wet when it starts raining later.

2010/02/25

I am SO glad that I am finished with graveyard shifts, at least for this week. The person I'm working for is still out with the flu so anything is possible for next week...

Came home and crashed for a few hours then ended up at Fab Hot Dogs in Reseda for some lunch with a friend. I had the "LA Street Dog" with chili cheese fries and a Coke, AWESOME!

Afterward we went over to Westfield Topanga, formerly Topanga Plaza, and boy have they added to and fixed that place up. I had an great time looking around and in the process, I bought the following (sort of):
  • Audi A5 Cabriolet in Sprint Blue
  • About $1000 in clothes at Neiman Marcus
    love the Royal Underground Spring Collection
  • over at Cartier
    a $9750 watch
    a $2800 ring
  • finally $40 in underwear and socks at Target which I left the store with.
Normally I get ignored when I go to such places but today I must have been oozing money because the staff in all the stores I went to couldn't have been more helpful or nicer -- I'll take it as a good omen on my recent decisions. Shopping for your "dreams" can be an amazing way of programming the universe when using the Law of Attraction (LoA).

Had dinner in West Los Angeles at Pho 99. Everyone seems to think this place is amazing and it was good but I thought the rice noodles in my Pho Ga were a bit rubbery, personally I prefer Pho Show in Culver City or Absolutely PHO Bulous on La Cienega by the Beverly Center.

Well tomorrow is going to be an early and LONG day, so I'm going to bed -- nighty night.

2010/02/23

Well it was a nice day till I decided to accept a call from work and guess who's doing graveyard tonight... Oh yeah!

Got paid yesterday and I paid today. LOL Even living cheaply takes money in Los Angeles.

Tried to sleep this afternoon so I could do this shift but only had limited success. I'm going to try to go to the gym after work before crashing. The big question: will I be returning to regular sleep hours or working graveyard again tonight for the same coworker who called in sick? HMMMM

2010/02/21

Overall it was an excellent day today.

I had a breakfast to go to this morning and it was a lot of fun. I rode my bike the 6.5 miles there and arrived about 15 minutes early and thought I would try to cool down before going in. I took off my jacket and the heat came off like steam in the brisk morning air, it looked so cool (OK, so I'm a bit strange, you didn't know this?).

I was a bit later than I had planned leaving and I thought I might try catching the Culver City bus to cut on my riding and make up some time. Just as I was riding up to the station, I saw one of their buses turning the corner, I thought I had literally just missed it. Turns out it was just pulling into the station and about 2 minutes later another pulled out to start its run, perfect timing.

Work went well, a bit slow but well. I got home and fell asleep for a bit and was awakened when the kitties decided it was time for their dinner, I am their eternal slave...

2010/02/20

Yesterday was both amazing and strange.

I woke up with a mild headache that I attributed to releasing of stress. I am one of those people that tends to hold onto their stress while they are going through things. When it is finally over I pay for it with tension headaches for a day or two but then it seems to be gone... Thank God!

I popped an Advil to help me get through the morning and even managed to meditate pretty well. I really enjoyed it.

At work I finally had my meeting regarding April 15th and it is now official. I am sometimes completely amazed at how much of a drama queen I can be in my own head. I expected a few difficulties getting through the meeting but it went both really well and I was wished well by all parties involved.

The strange thing was last night when I just could not get tired. I stayed up until about 3:00AM and for the life of me couldn't imagine why. I have been getting plenty of sleep, but not enough that I should be THAT un-tired.

I found out today that a friend had been in some trouble and had been planning on coming over to my house for some help and that they had decided to get another form of help since they thought they were too late for me (that has been since remedied). Fortunately, all is well overall with them and other than a few bumps and bruises on their ego and spirit. What a coincidence.

I didn't make it to the gym today or will I tomorrow, I slept in a bit and the gym closes an hour after I get off work tonight. I would go before work tomorrow, but I already have a scheduled breakfast that I will be racing to work from in the morning. So, I guess Monday will be my next visit, I'll probably go after work so I do not have to get up so early and take my time.

2010/02/18

Interesting day, my meeting to announce April 15th has been delayed a day but there were some leaks via the coffee house route. Oh well...

I'm feeling fine but it has been kind of difficult to keep my positive mindset going, work is work and it is what it is. I'm doing OK but a minor headache has been thrumming in my neck and skull for the last couple of hours. With how I'm feeling, I'm REALLY glad that I did my meditation this morning, it always gives me a charge and I do not even want to think about how draggy I would be if I hadn't.

I have class tonight, looking forward to getting there. No class next week, just a personal reminder.

2010/02/17

What an excellent day!

Not that I had that much planned for the day, but I managed to get everything done. I went to breakfast with a friend then checked out a new bank since my old one has decided that using the bank is not good enough, I must pay for the privilege (gotta love the corporate greed -- over $8.50/month).

It was a beautiful day, first one on my day off in quite a while that was sunny and warm enough to lay out for some Sol worship. Then I went to the gym and had an excellent workout, it felt SO good.

Had dinner at this Japanese Teriyaki place called Sarku Japan in the newly redone Fox Hills Mall, oops Westfield Culver City.

Overall things have been great today, yesterday REALLY charged my batteries and I have set a few more things in motion for after the 15th of April. I really am happier than I have been in SO long. I have light at the end of the tunnel and "the world is my oyster" or so they say.

2010/02/16

The Beginnings of Recovery

11:00

OK, so something is up... The Universe is conspiring something and I find I am looking forward to seeing what.

I woke up and decided to wear my Buddha shirt to my breakfast with K and R. Afterward I had planned to go over to the Grind or Library and do some writing. During breakfast I asked R what he was doing today and what route he was planning to take. On a spur of the moment decision I decided to go to Lake Shrine. I LOVE it here!

SoCal in February and I could actually get away with shorts and a T-shirt but I am dressed a bit more appropriately. Am I slipping into respectability?!?

Something has been weighing on my heart for a while and I have been in such a funk and verging on depression. I think I will spend the day relaxing and meditating to see what it is I am missing.

I have chosen a great spot to start with, I'm on the landing between the windmill and the waterfall (I never noticed it before). One of the swans just scared the daylights out of me... I suddenly had him(?) swim by and start flapping his wings like crazy, really changed the mood suddenly, but he seems to have settled down for now.

Just being here makes me feel better, I am not exactly peaceful within but I can feel the peace without and may be able to take some of it home. I miss peace at hime. Maybe I can find what it is that I am missing there, it has gone from sanctuary to something else but I can still feel its potential to be otherwise.

There is a turtle that keeps swimming by, almost as if he's keeping an eye out for me and making sure I am OK.

Just taking the day here will at least charge my batteries a bit, they are nearly empty. I have been so disconnected and just drifting on the currents of my life. I feel like I have been trying to steer currents to a destination of my choosing but I forgot or lost my rudder... I will remedy that!



17:50 aka 5:50 PM

I took a short break from Lake Shrine at noon to make a Communicator call for my Landmark Series, it was the shortest call I have done so far, but it seemed pretty good. I went back in and walked around the lake and stopped in the chapel to meditate for a while.

While I was meditating, a gentleman who had been meditating in the front of the room got up to leave and I could not help but giggle a bit. He was wearing a leather motorcycle outfit and trying SO hard to be quiet and not disturb others, but the harder he tried the noisier he was.

I took some nice photos of the area and will put them on Facebook when I get home.

I finally left about 2:00 and while grabbing some lunch, had an amazing conversation with my Dad that lasted almost 90 minutes. It was unlike anything we have had in the past, no judgments on either side, just two people having a conversation about whatever came up. Those who read my blog entries are likely aware of the difficulties I have had in the past with my dad, not today.

I stopped of at 212 Pier, probably one of the COOLEST coffee houses I have ever been to, to type up and finish this entry, I am beginning to think I may have picked up a bit of a sunburn today, I have that radient heat feeling you get with an minor burn. Oh well, if that is the cost of such an amazing day, COOL!!!!

I am feeling better than I have in months, I may just be about ready for my meeting at work on Thursday and the repercussions in 60 days. Viva le Spiritgeek!


Note:
This entry was cross-posted to both the Spiritgeek Blog and the Personal Journal.

2010/02/03

Well life looks like it may be returning to some sense of normality for a bit. My ill co-worker returns tomorrow and I'm hoping for Friday off. HR and Payroll and I are going to be butting heads over the usual policies and the actual payment of the 6th and 7th days and the overtime it is supposed to be. Oh fun fun...

I finally came up with a direction for the Zeitgeist newsletter for February that I not only like but think is much better than the usual Valentines drivel.

Had a good workout at the gym after work. Did the full weight set, but just did not have the energy to do cardio, only did about 10 minutes.

I was thinking about this guy I met last week, I may be about to make a fool of myself, but I think I want to see him again. Not only was he cute as a button but he seemed really sweet. Awe...

2010/02/02

Wow, I was exhausted last night.

I got home from work and was supposed to do a tele-conference at 19:30 and after getting ready, had about 15 minutes to kill. Turned on the TV to watch a little B5 and I don't think I made it through the opening credits before I passed out and didn't wake till almost 01:00.

One of my co-workers is out sick with bronchitis(?) so I came in this morning for the day shift. I thought I would take a quick moment to get the journal up to date since I slept through last nights entry.

Yesterday was a OK, but fast workout at the gym. That book I'm reading, "Body for Life", has made me wonder if I might be overdoing some of my workouts. I have been going every other day and doing my weight training each time. I finally got to the section where it goes into the workout details and I noticed that he is suggesting a 4 day rotation on the weights. His layout is weights on say Mon, Wed and Fri with Cardio on Tue, Thr and Sat. So on week one, Mon and Fri would be Upper Body with Wed being Lower Body and Abs and the inverse on the following week.

Looks like I'm working tomorrow as well.