Yesterday was both amazing and strange.

I woke up with a mild headache that I attributed to releasing of stress. I am one of those people that tends to hold onto their stress while they are going through things. When it is finally over I pay for it with tension headaches for a day or two but then it seems to be gone... Thank God!

I popped an Advil to help me get through the morning and even managed to meditate pretty well. I really enjoyed it.

At work I finally had my meeting regarding April 15^th and it is now official. I am sometimes completely amazed at how much of a drama queen I can be in my own head. I expected a few difficulties getting through the meeting but it went both really well and I was wished well by all parties involved.

The strange thing was last night when I just could not get tired. I stayed up until about 3:00AM and for the life of me couldn't imagine why. I have been getting plenty of sleep, but not enough that I should be THAT un-tired.

I found out today that a friend had been in some trouble and had been planning on coming over to my house for some help and that they had decided to get another form of help since they thought they were too late for me (that has been since remedied). Fortunately, all is well overall with them and other than a few bumps and bruises on their ego and spirit. What a coincidence.

I didn't make it to the gym today or will I tomorrow, I slept in a bit and the gym closes an hour after I get off work tonight. I would go before work tomorrow, but I already have a scheduled breakfast that I will be racing to work from in the morning. So, I guess Monday will be my next visit, I'll probably go after work so I do not have to get up so early and take my time.

The Beginnings of Recovery

11:00

OK, so something is up... The Universe is conspiring something and I find I am looking forward to seeing what.

I woke up and decided to wear my Buddha shirt to my breakfast with K and R. Afterward I had planned to go over to the Grind or Library and do some writing. During breakfast I asked R what he was doing today and what route he was planning to take. On a spur of the moment decision I decided to go to Lake Shrine. I LOVE it here!

SoCal in February and I could actually get away with shorts and a T-shirt but I am dressed a bit more appropriately. Am I slipping into respectability?!?

Something has been weighing on my heart for a while and I have been in such a funk and verging on depression. I think I will spend the day relaxing and meditating to see what it is I am missing.

I have chosen a great spot to start with, I'm on the landing between the windmill and the waterfall (I never noticed it before). One of the swans just scared the daylights out of me... I suddenly had him(?) swim by and start flapping his wings like crazy, really changed the mood suddenly, but he seems to have settled down for now.

Just being here makes me feel better, I am not exactly peaceful within but I can feel the peace without and may be able to take some of it home. I miss peace at hime. Maybe I can find what it is that I am missing there, it has gone from sanctuary to something else but I can still feel its potential to be otherwise.

There is a turtle that keeps swimming by, almost as if he's keeping an eye out for me and making sure I am OK.

Just taking the day here will at least charge my batteries a bit, they are nearly empty. I have been so disconnected and just drifting on the currents of my life. I feel like I have been trying to steer currents to a destination of my choosing but I forgot or lost my rudder... I will remedy that!

---

17:50 aka 5:50 PM

I took a short break from Lake Shrine at noon to make a Communicator call for my Landmark Series, it was the shortest call I have done so far, but it seemed pretty good. I went back in and walked around the lake and stopped in the chapel to meditate for a while.

While I was meditating, a gentleman who had been meditating in the front of the room got up to leave and I could not help but giggle a bit. He was wearing a leather motorcycle outfit and trying SO hard to be quiet and not disturb others, but the harder he tried the noisier he was.

I took some nice photos of the area and will put them on Facebook when I get home.

I finally left about 2:00 and while grabbing some lunch, had an amazing conversation with my Dad that lasted almost 90 minutes. It was unlike anything we have had in the past, no judgments on either side, just two people having a conversation about whatever came up. Those who read my blog entries are likely aware of the difficulties I have had in the past with my dad, not today.

I stopped of at 212 Pier, probably one of the COOLEST coffee houses I have ever been to, to type up and finish this entry, I am beginning to think I may have picked up a bit of a sunburn today, I have that radient heat feeling you get with an minor burn. Oh well, if that is the cost of such an amazing day, COOL!!!!

I am feeling better than I have in months, I may just be about ready for my meeting at work on Thursday and the repercussions in 60 days. Viva le Spiritgeek!

Note:
This entry was cross-posted to both the Spiritgeek Blog and the Personal Journal.